The Lone soldier
by Lily Writer
Summary: Heero is traped within his mind, and when memories come back to hunt him, his freinds are hard on his track to find him, but when freinds aren't there, can a stranger save him? chapters 1-8, nine'll be out soon!
1. dreaming of death

This is my first fic it's concentrated on Heero and in the end it will be and HY/RP the basic plot's like this, Heero's lost and has no idea where he is. he's alone and as he tries to find out where he is he thinks about things and people he misses, this only part one and there will be a part two if you review this one. If you don't understand, or have comments please email me at [GW_Girl17@hotmail.com][1] but only if it's a question or some constructive criticism otherwise don't waist my time!

hope you enjoy this, 

The Lone Soldier 

Heero walked through the empty battlefield; he had no idea when it had become such a desert, nor when the shooting had stopped, he couldn't remember hearing anyone surrender, for that matter he couldn't remember anything, nothing at all, Just endless slather and death. He couldn't remember how he got here, or why, had Dr. J send him on another mission? _Are the other pilots here somewhere? Lost like me, or still fighting,_ _or dead…maybe…no. They weren't dead, not yet…_

The sky was clouded and it was twilight, Heero could see the out lines of buildings in the distance, and around him, shadows were everywhere, rubble ranging from cement to cloth lay in his path and beneath that the side walk was hardly visible, here and there Heero could see red stains on the floor and an occasional body here and there, hardly recognizable under the dirt and rubble. He had no idea exactly where he was, the name of the city, or the country, or what colony this was, nor the time, Heero had no watch, and knew that in this city there was no one alive that he could ask, he was alone, possibly stranded on a dead colony in the middle of cold, endless space.

I'm lost. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do, the others might still be around, but without transportation I could spend weeks trying to find them…and wing zero… where are you wing? I'm not even sure it exists any more; it could have been destroyed, or captured. I need to know where I am, and what time this is, I can't remember anything. How did I get here?

Walking some more, keeping a steady pase, Heero looked around in search of a vehicle, a bus, anything, just as long as it moves.

It was getting dark, Heero had been walking for what felt like forever and was beginning to feel cold and tired, looking up he could no longer see the buildings in the distance, and above him the sky was clouded, forgetting his quest for a vehicle Heero found a large pile of rubble and settled down, his head resting on the cold cement as he looked at the sky

Why can't I see the stars? The sky is troubled, if it rains I'll have something to drink, but I'd much rather see a star, anything to guide me as to where this is. I've never bothered to look at the stars before, and now that I should be thinking of escape I look up at the sky and wish to see a star? Why? I forget that I'm still a soldier, I can't show emotions, I have no emotions, I've lost my humanity a long time ago. But now, am I a soldier? There is no Dr. J here to replace me, or give me a new mission, I'm just a boy now, or a monster, I don't know any more.

With there last thoughts Heero closed his eyes and slipped into an uneasy sleep…****

*****_Flash_*

Heero's eyes snapped open only to look at darkness, endless, lifeless dark, surrounding him, trying to get into him, and swallow him up so that he would never see the light. Heero tried to move, to get away, but his body no longer responded, he was trapped, here where the light of the sun never shines he will spend his life, at some time or other finally forgetting what the outside world looked like, and what it felt like to be under the warming rays of the sun.

How did I get here? And where is here anyway? If this is the dead city, then why can't I see the clouds, even at the earliest hours of day the clouds are still there, but here there is nothing.

Suddenly the cold came, not wind, Heero would have been glad to feel wind again, but cold, like the surrounding blanket of darkness had suddenly gone and the cold came to replace it, biting into Heero's bones, into his heart and all his body, threatening to over whelm him, like a cold, dark endless wave standing tall above him, the height of the monster made Heero look like an ant, an insignificant creature, unable to stop the horrible wave of cold and darkness from hitting full impact and drowning him.

The cold…where is it coming from? It feels so empty around me, like even the air is gone, but I'm still alive and the cold is still here, or, am I alive/ maybe I'm long dead, and no one has found my body, I'm still alone, just like I've always been.

Sitting or standing didn't matter anymore, nor did it matter whether Heero's eyes were closed or opened, and he could no longer feel or see his body, it was as if he was a spirit, with no body there at all.

I should stop arguing, let go, this is the end, there is no more life for me and I'm not needed, I'm a monster, which deserves to be hunted down and killed, and by the feeling of it I'm already dead. I've caused so much pain, to the people I kill and the people I love, I've destroyed everything and there is nothing left for me, whoever was in my path I hurt and didn't care, the pilots and Relena and everyone. They all could have happiness, they could find a life and a way, but not me, never me I wish I could find happiness, and forgiveness for all the misery I've caused, but I've done too much, and I'm dead now, there is no hope. 

Heero no longer cared, and as he was drifting farther and farther into the endless cold he found himself wishing for a friend, like Duo,

He never gave up, not once, he always tried his very hardest to save his friends, and always kept trying, no matter what, and when he found defeat he would laugh and try harder, never showing fear. Right now the war is most likely over and Duo is either dead and in heaven or happy at home, I've never thought about how I needed him until now, but now it's too late…I need you, friend.

And the others, Wufei who was proud, no matter what others thought or how much he lost, he would always be proud of being alive and being himself, and Trowa, he never faltered, always there, clam and soothing, and Quatre who shouldn't be at war, every time he was afraid he would stand up and fight for his friends and family, never caring about what he wanted, others always came first, and Relena, I wish I was with her right now, she never gave up hope for peace, and she devoted her life for the people that scorned her, she was always there to protect and stop the fighting, never giving up in what she believed in.

"I'm a monster" Heero said, his lips felt like ice and he wasn't sure he made a sound, but he heard something, some voice in answer to his own, "You're a soldier, and soldiers don't show emotions, never show emotions." The voice was strong and Heero recognized it quickly, Dr. J, as he pondered what the doctor was doing here, Heero listen to the cold hard voice talk, not knowing if it was to him the words were addressed to,"You are a failure, to me and to the mission, and if you fail one more time, just one, I will replace you. And send you out to the world, and believe me, the world is far cruller then any training you have had here, so beware, the mission is why you are here, and if you fail there are others to take your place." As the last word faded, Heero could hear nothing, and as hard as he tried, he saw no one out in the cold darkness, and still staring, Heero pondered why he had failed, what he had done.

Now there is no more, no reason for me to go on, I will be replaced and send away, but I wish I was, then in the world I could have a chance, I could find friendship and a life, I wish I was replaced.

Floating there, not feeling his body, his mind pondering the words of his trainer, Heero closed his eyes as there was no point in keeping them open, but by some unknown force, they snapped open once again and he looked out at the darkness, only it wasn't darkness they saw.

Heero stared, this was not what he was expecting, god coming down from the heathen to great him, or sateen rising with the red of flame about him to take Heero into the underworld as pay for all the wrong he's done, those Heero expected, but not this, a chamber was In front of him, every corner vaguely familiar, like of some distant dream of a life he once had, although Heero had no memory of ever being in this place, he knew that if he turned the corner down a hall to his left, he'd end up in a study and the door after that would turn out to be the bathroom, suddenly, voices could be heard, coming from the hall, Heero turned his gaze upon the entrance and all thoughts of hiding were erased from his mind.

Down the hall came an old crumpled figure, wearing a white lab coat and what seamed as a space suit underneath, by the figure, walking with very large steps to keep up, walked a small boy, messy brown hair hid perjen blue eyes, sharp in the twilight. Heero froze; looking at the boy was enough to give away who he was. Although the boy was only five or six and still had no name, he had always known the boy as Heero Yuy, agent in training.

As the two continued down the hall Heero looked at the old man, Dr. J seemed younger, if it was possible he seemed different, the same thigh glasses, the mechanical hand now raised in the air, but somehow Heero knew that this Dr. J was not that one he knew.

What, who are they? That boy, I know who he is, but, why? Why here? Why now, when I'm no longer an agent? That boy, that boy is dead, I killed him when I went on my first mission, he's not me, not any more, he has feelings, I can see them in his eyes, he's excited, why do I see these things, these memories of things I've left behind? I don't know this boy; he's not me, and that Dr. J isn't the one I remember, but then I really can't remember, I can't remember that little boy, he's gone now.

Standing there looking at the small boy, now close enough to touch, the thought of the boy seeing him came to mind, but he knew it was no use, the cold was still there and his body didn't seem to be. Just then, the boy looked up and horror spread across his face, Heero tried to say something, but realized that the boy wasn't looking at him, but through him, Then, taking a few more steps the boy went through him and

To be continued…

   [1]: mailto:GW_Girl17@hotmail.com



	2. remembring past friends

Then, taking a few more steps the boy went through him and to Heero's surprise cried out, seemingly to thin air, "Clair! What are you doing here?"

Heero tried to turn and found that he could feel his body once again, turning around, he looked up to see a catwalk, thin metal bars running through and parallel to each other, on the catwalk, leaning against the railing stood a small girl with umber hair and large green eyes on a small, pale face, she was apparently Clair.

Why don't I remember her? I remember the rest, all the soldiers, the intelligence crew, every child in the program, but her. Clair? Was her code name changed? There was no Clair on the database, no mention of her, why not? Is this some alternate past? Where I wasn't chosen for the mission? Why do I see it now, why now?

"Heero! You can't take the test! It's stupid, suicide, that's what it is! Everyone dies in less then an hour, information at such speed that the brain can't handle it!" Clair shouted, her large eyes contracting with hidden pain, the boy looked at her with defiance, determination clear on his young face. "I won't fail, and if I do I deserve to die, it's my time to take the test and I'll do my best, you can't stop me!" he shouted, ignoring Dr. J, who was calmly standing in the shadows of the room,

"No one deserves to die, and the test is just a trap to kill those who are stupid enough to take it! You won't prove anything by killing yourself except that you're as dumb as the rest of the soldiers!"

"You shouldn't laugh at the soldiers, they are much stronger and quick thinking than you! Those who need a computer to find information they should know end up in the intelligence crew, but I'll get the test done with and become the new test pilot, it's my time to become an agent!" the small boy shouted, sounding proud and foolish at the same time,

"You shouldn't laugh at the soldiers…" but really the soldiers are dumb, they fight for whatever their commanders tell them to, they only fight to win medals, not to bring back peace, that boy sounds like a soldier so much…he is me, just young, not through the tests yet, he'll learn, I did, or did I? I learned not to question my judgment, but I still do. Did he learn?

"If you think the intelligence crew trainees are stupid, then try the mission, go ahead, you'll end up dead, just like Jake did, I remember, you took a lot less caution showing your feelings when Jake died! Do you want to die like that too?" Clair shouted, anger showing plainly on her face.

"I'm sorry Clair, I know we shouldn't argue, it just makes things worse, I don't know where the agents and soldiers would be without the intelligence crew, I'm sorry!"

"Don't be, but if you still want to take the test, then fine, I'll become an agent too, we might get a mission together some day."

"No! You won't make the test, any way, you're in the intelligence crew already, what did you have left? One more test? You'll be in the crew and then we'll meet as soon as my first mission's over, I'll need your help, we could ask to be partners!" the boy sounded enthusiastic, even though Heero could tell that the small boy knew, on high class missions there were no partners.

Why? I never wanted a partner in my life! And I didn't need the intelligence crew, I don't need that girl, anyway, he should know, if he passes the test, it's lone missions all the way. This is stupid, that's not me, I'm not that weak, don't need the inelegance crew, or the soldiers, I do my missions on my own; no assistance needed, or is it? I'm second-guessing myself, how many times was I beatfor that? 

"Heero, please don't do it! You know that this is stupid, what are you trying to prove? That you're mind is strong enough? It is! Everyone knows, now stop this stupidity, you don't have to try for the Gundam to be an agent, any mobile suit will do, or you could be on ground support, or one of the spies, anything! Just don't try the Gundam!" Clair was showing weakness, while the boy's face remained untouched by emotions the small pale girl started to cry…this was unusual, at the base, all trainees were beat for showing emotions, she was going to get it bad from Dr. J…

Why is she crying? Intelligence crew ain't half bad, she can take on soldier duty any time, plus try out for agent later, why? I don't understand? She's crying, just like Relena was, it's a waist of body fluids and a weakness, but still, why? Relena was crying on the Libra, but she wasn't scared, or hurt, I would have seen if she was hurt. So why cry? Why do emotions always get in the way? They're useless, unneeded so why? I don't understand, happiness, sadness, and fear? Fear of what? Death? But death is like sleep, or at least to me it is, it's illogical to be afraid of death. I was taught to ignore fear, but I was never afraid, not of the test, or the mission, never… except once, at that party, I was afraid, afraid that Relena would get hurt, why? I was supposed to kill her, so why so afraid? Did she give me some drug of a sort, there are about 15 thousand that would work, but then why not later, why didn't I kill her later, on the Libra, or in another thousand places, am I a bad agent?

Rushing footsteps were heard, rubber souls banging on the metal of the catwalk, soon enough their owner appeared, an angry young man Heero recognized as one of the many assistants in training, this one was codenamed Josh, a strange name and unfitting to his personality, as Heero snapped out of his inner conflicts he watched Josh step onto the catwalk, face flushed from running. "There you are 807! Where did you go, the test has started, you will be punished for this, and crying! Why are you the trouble student? You're excellent on the tests, but this…this will be taken off as marks for your intelligence report! If you run off again I'll have to make you start training over again!" "I'm sorry Doctor." He said as he noticed Dr. J and Heero standing below him,

"She's been the trouble one for a long time now, but we are working on improvement! And number 149, I hope you have luck on your next examination, it's mobile suits I presume?"The boy stood straight at the sound of his number, all trainers and assistants used numbers to look more professional, only between the students was the name Heero Yuy heard." Heero will be taking the Gundam test soon, after that it's his first mission."

Dr. J always called Heero by his name; he was trainer to only twelve students and called them all by codenames to prepare them for their first missions, after which they will be called by codenames by all the trainers. Josh nodded, everyone was quiet about that test, and no students have survived so far, the professors were convinced that one of the students would succeed and the test was available to all, but most ignored it and took simpler tests for their passing mark.

I wish I had ignored it, but then, I'd be alone, Wing is my only companion, my partner, we fight together and die together, we did both once. 

Dr. J moved out of his position in the shadows and put his hand on the boy's shoulder as Clair was dragged forcefully away the little boy and old man walked down the room and towards the door at it's end, soon disappearing out of Heero's vision.


	3. realization

The Lone Soldier part 3

As the vision of the room disappeared into the darkness, Heero felt better, the darkness was no longer cold but helping, as a shield against pain and life, giving him time to rest while rejecting the world around him, not knowing why, he closed his eyes and drifted off into his thoughts, mainly those concerning his past, and any that might have Clair in them…

_Why was she crying? And why can't I remember her? I can remember every person, every number every codename every mission, but not this girl, not this one girl, her name was not on the databases, not the intelligence crew, non that were useable, non. I hacked into every one of them, but no, non have any record of Clair, no files, no mission involving her, no intelligence reports written by her…why is she missing, why? Is she dead? But then her name would be in the records, or the "missing in action" she might have run off, but then she's still be recorded, the records aren't just erased, what happened to her? Why can't I remember!?_

Suddenly, as if to answer his many questions, came another vision, this time a dark hanger, mobile suits staked in rows a long the far side, one particular one was closes to Heero, a small light glittering off the metal,

Wing, why Wing? Does Clair have something to do with this? Did she take the test and become the pilot? But then, what happened to the boy? Records show I was the only one to ever accomplished the test, is this a simulation? Am I watching my own test, or my first mission? I can't remember!? 

Heero was surprised by his own thought, which strangely kept drifting off the little girl on the catwalk; looking away he instead concentrated on the mobile suit, and the figures walking towards it.

The boy again, why do I see the boy? Why am I here? And those scientists, professor F, and that one, I can't remember, what was it? I should know this, I should be a better agent.

As the three figures continued to walk across the hanger, clearly heading towards the Gundam, Heero turned and saw a small pale face in the shadows, forest green eyes never blinking, reminding him of Trowa…

Who is that? Trowa? No! He couldn't be here; he was with the emissaries, then who? Those eyes…Clair? What, why?! The tests are privet, none, but the professors are aloud in here, why did she snick in? Trying to stop the boy? I don't remember, why?

"You will become our newest test pilot, the youngest and strongest, you should be proud. In only four months you have accomplished much more then most students do, after this test, you have succeeded." As one of the professors kept talking, about all the students who failed the test, the other held the boy strongly by his shoulder and almost forcefully walked him to the coc pit entrance of the mobile suit. Looking closely, Heero saw what looked like regret rise slowly to the boy's face, disappearing instantly as the professor whispered instructions in his ear, looking a the giant machine, the boy nodded and was about to step into the coc pit when the Green eyes suddenly disappeared and a small cry was heard from the shadows on the hanger, the professor looked up and the other stopped talking to watch as a small girl ran quickly towards the boy and to everyone's surprise hugged him, as if to keep him from disappearing into fine air.

Clair? Why? I don't understand, why is she showing emotion? I can't remember, I remember my test, or at least a bit of it, but not this, not being hugged by a person, never this. She's be killed for this, but she still does it, does she want to die? Is she tiered of life? Like me? I don't understand, why show emotion?

The boy seemed taken back by this sudden show of emotion, but hugged her back non the less, between sobs Clair talked to him, trying to convince her friend no to take the test, although her eyes were full of tears and sadness, the young Heero's eyes remained emotionless, as if carved out of stone by the finest sculptor.

"Please don't do this, please! I don't want to loose you Heero, I can't live like this any more! Please stop! Please…" as her voice gave up and she trailed off into sobs, the other professor made a move to remove her, but was stopped but his colleague, and was forces to stare and the young boy pushed her away and looked at her with emotionless eyes,

"I'm sorry, but I need to take a test now, we'll have to talk later." With that he turned away, and no one was able to read the tiny signs of loss hidden within his face.

The professor now took him by the shoulder and almost forcefully directed him to the coc pit, whispering him the password for it's opening. As he was about to get inside and strap in, the boy suddenly turned around and was about to run towards the still form of Clair, but he was grabbed by the professor and nearly frown into the coc pit, "start your test! Now!" were his orders and as the door was locked behind him, he tried to look out the clear plastic window only to see a struggling Clair shouting for him and two professors, one holding her down and the other writing some remarks about Heero's performance and skills. As the boy desperately tried to get out, he suddenly sat down and with empty eyes, began his test.

The zero system took control, that's what happened, those memories were erased because they stopped me from operating properly, the zero system couldn't understand emotions either so they were unneeded. Clair was right, the test did kill me.

Closing his eyes, Heero turned away from the fading vision, the zero system had betrayed him, Wing, his only companion, was the reason that he never understood why Relena and Clair were crying, and now he knew he never would.

His eyes snapped open to revile another room, this time an office, a professor sat in his large leather chair behind the desk, and a girl, about ten years old stood before him, curly umber hair coved a pale face with large green eyes, those eyes looked defiant, a secret light burning deep inside of them, a longing to be free and for power, revenge, for what? Heero couldn't tell, this new secret felt strange to him, he could hack into every computer system imaginable, could read expressions and people like a book, one look and he could tell what the plan behind it was, but with this girl, this new challenge, he couldn't. 

"You have disgraced your crew members, showing emotion, talking out, this is the last straw, I don't know what happened during your training but I will not stand your incompetence. You are no longer needed 807, you are dismissed." With those words, the professor stood up, turned around and walked out of the room, leaving 807 alone.

Clair? Dismissed, maybe that why, but still, her training records, those should still be there. What could have happened?

Heero's thoughts were interrupted as Clair started talking, no one else being there Heero stared, he had never expected a soldier, much less an intelligence member to talk to themselves, especially if they had just been dismissed.

"They don't understand, do they, no one ever understands! The training ruins people, emotions are meant to be shown, it's a way of communication! People die, children, because of emotional overload, they've killed one too many, first Jake, then Heero, I won't let them break me, never!" the last word was shouted out, anguish showing on Clair's face, she suddenly smiled and laughed, as if her words had brought back good memories, "I'll show them!I won't be broken! Never! I'll stop all of them, no one else will ever take the test, I'll stop them, even if every soldier in the operation will have to die! Heero was wrong, the soldiers are dumb, they don't understand…no one does."

With that last outburst, Clair proudly stepped out of the room, umber hair flying away from her face and finally setting down on her back.

What have they done to her? She's crazy, what did they do!? What did she do?Those tests, that must have broken her, but she's right, they do kill people, the tests killed Clair.

Heero closed his eyes, not wishing to see this person, a girl he thought he once knew turning into a lunatic, as his eyes closed, blocking out the scene, the room disappeared, and Heero was once again in the darkness, but he no longer cared,

I don't care, these visions only helped to show me how useless my life is, I'm dead, or at least that little boy is, the mission's over, there is peace now, I'm not needed anymore, just like the Gundams aren't. The others can choose to start a new life, but I will choose to die, life is too troublesome for me to bear it, especially without a purpose, Dr. J was right, the world is cruller then training, and I'd rather not deal with it, I've failed the mission, it's my time to die.

With those thoughts circling in his mind, Heero finally drifted off into blissful sleep, as the first stars were show to him alone in the abandoned city, the body of a young soldier, tired from a long battle with in his mind, could be seen carefully hidden under a piece of fallen cement. 

To be continued…if reviewed.

Likes, dislikes? E-mail me! Criticism accepted and welcomed, and flames to be sent at your own risk, whahahahah! *Goes crazy and starts to choke little sister*

Lily Writer does not own Gundam Wing, this fic has no commercial value, but great emotional value, please do not sue! - This message is distributed by the Unhappy Company.


	4. while the soldier sleeps...

This might sound strange but just read it, the explanation is coming soon, this is a brighter chapter, a bit angry but not much, I thought this could do some good to show another side of the Gundam team's friendship, this does have something to do with the first three chapters as you'll see later, don't worry, the next chapter will have Heero as the main character again, this is just something to help lighten the mood, I couldn't resist writing this, sorry!.; don't own Gundam wing! (please don't sue me!)

Enjoy! 

# The lone soldier part 4

"Wake up! Wake up! God you are the laziest person I ever met! Duo! Open your eyes, look everyone's awake, Trowa already started breakfast, you are so lazy!" As Hilde shouted at the braided pilot, Relena finally woke up, she had been having nightmares the entire night and had finally gotten over the last one when her best friend's angry shouts woke her up, for that she was grateful, the last dream had been the worse she had that night, it involved Heero and some people with guns, and death… "Duo! Look what you made me do! Sorry, Relena, go back to sleep." Hilde smiled and kicked Duo, who grumbled and finally opened his eyes, looking as if he had been run over by a truck, "Hilde! I didn't have any sleep either, and you almost broke my ribs!" as the couple argued Relena got up and walked to her duffle bag, picking out a t shirt and jeans, she walked to the small bathroom to change, only to find it locked and Wufie's angry voice telling her to get lost, as murmurs of "weakling," and "stupid women," were heard from behind the bathroom door, Relena stuffed the clothes back into her pack, rolled up her sleeping bag, and sleepily stalked to the kitchen where Cathy and Trowa were quietly cooking breakfast, and Sally sitting at the table, sipping hot chocolate and shrugging as Quatre asked some question Relena couldn't quit hear. "Morning Relena, don't you want to change?" was sally's greeting, "Wufie's in the bathroom," she said as she greeted Quatre and Catherine, going over o the counter and getting herself a cup for tea, "Oh, don't worry, I'll be right back…" sally grinned and was about to walk out of the kitchen, when Relena's hand stopped her, "Don't, leave him alone, the pajamas are comfortable, and Wufei needs a shower anyway." Relena tried to smile, forgetting for now last night's dream,"if you're sure, but yeh, Wufei does need a shower, he's beginning to stink…" Sally laughed and sat back down, inviting Relena to join her, 

"Good morning, how was your sleep?" 

"Fine thanks, how about you Quatre? still having dreams?" Quatre blushed; he hadn't realized that people knew about his dreams, Trowa finally turned around and was greeted by Relena's smile, "Quatre, you've been talking in your sleep." He said, and turned back to the stove, where about a dozen eggs were sizzling, emitting small 'pop' noises once in a while,

"I was talking?" Quatre asked, avoiding eye contact and blushing harder,

"Yes, but so was I, Hilde told me, it's stress, or nightmares in my case." Relena said, hoping it would make Quatre feel less imberesed knowing he wasn't the only one with dreams, "you two need a sleeping pill, or a vacation, or both, but I can't blame you, I've been having nightmares of my own. You're right Relena, its stress. I have some before big performances." Catharine said, smiling and shaking her head in sympathy, Quatre blushed more, if such a thing was possible. "The water's boiling."

Trowa said as he put the teapot on the table, Relena reached for it and poured some into her cup, waiting for Quatre to give her his to fill up as well. 

"Thanks Trowa, tea's what I need right now." She said as she put the teapot back down and sipping the steaming hot drink, her body relaxing and forgetting about the nightmares. Catherine finally finished helping Trowa with breakfast and sat down, Relena took a cup from her hands and poured the hot water into it, filling the cup up three quarters of the way. Cathy thanked her and signed, relaxing in the chair, and smiling to herself for reasons unknown. Just then a swear was heard and Duo's head popped into the kitchen, his nose catching the smell of eggs and his braid, now combed and tied up neatly, bouncing around,"Morning guys, where's the food?" as he said this, his head was pulled back by the braid and Hilde's voice was heard "Duo! You pig! Is food all you ever think about?" then Duo was dragged back in to the kitchen by an angry Hilde, who quickly greeted everyone and sat down, leaving Duo in the middle of the room. Hilde sat down next to Sally and whispered something into the older women's ear; pretty soon giggling was heard in the kitchen and as Catherine gave them a look that said 'what the hell are people talking about?' she was quickly dragged into the conversation and soon grinned and sneaked a peak at her younger brother, still at the stove, mindlessly turning the already cooked eggs. "You are wrong! That is not how things happen! Well…maybe…sure, _no _not _that_ way…" was all Relena could make out, which by itself told her plenty about what the girls were thinking…_I wish I could do that, just forget about everything and have some fun, but it's been so long…I hope this will pass soon, I'd rather work or attend meetings 24/7 then do this, then be forced to do this. Wonder what it feels like to have a normal relationship? Bet I'll never know, not if this fails, I don't think I'll stand it if this fails…Cathy's lucky, I'd give anything to have Milliardo here…but I don't think it would work out anyway, it's safer to keep Heero and Milliardo separated, for safety, but if it fails…then it wouldn't matter. I wish Milli was here with me, but oh well, should be thankful I got to go at all, with all that work it's a vacation even if I'm here to most likely break my heart…_

"Relena? Relena? Ok…guess she's in happy-pappy mood…Hilde? Do you see her face? Looks like she fell asleep with her eyes open…" Catherine laughed and nudged Hilde, nodding her head towards Relena, who was smiling to fin air, "Think we should wake her up?" Hilde laughed and waved a hand over Relena's eyes, getting no response she gave up and went on talking to Duo about their plans for the day. Sitting down next to his sister, Trowa nudged Relena in the ribs, finally getting a reaction, "Huh? Sorry, must have dosed off…" Relena said sleepily, taking a gulp of her tea and looking at Cathy who was currently laughing and trying not to chock. 

"So…what do we do? We're finally here, except Dorothy, do we wait for her, or go on and leave a note for her to find when she gets here?" Quatre said, trying to turn the subject to serious matters, "when will she get here?" asked Trowa, ignoring his sister,

"Not sure, in a few days, or later then that, she said not to wait for her." Quatre answered, happy that one person in the group heard him, "Then I think we should go, just to see what's out there, then we'll come back and stay here for the night." Trowa answered, taking up his usual emotionless voice, "I don't understand why these weaklings should hinder us, our best move would be to split up and search the grounds alone, Barton and me winner and Maxwell, we'll find Yuy and be back by sun set, next day we'll have Yuy show us exactly why he's two weeks late and correct his mistakes. Mission accomplished and no stupid weaklings to get into trouble." said Wufei, walking in and dragging up a stool to sit next to Duo. "If you call me a weakling one more time," said Hilde, "I'll personally make sure you never walk again." After giving him a death stare, which would make Heero proud, she turned around and stared at Duo, expecting him to say something,

"I think we could use more then four people, if you remember the entire city is in ruins, and Heero could be anywhere, it will take much more then a day to find him." Said Quatre " provided that he's alive that is," Wufei said as he looked up from his coffee. 

"You can be sure he is." Relena answered, giving Wufei a cold glance, as if daring him to say otherwise. "Stupid unna, do you think that unless something was very wrong, Yuy would fail in reporting in after a mission? As small as it might be?" asked Wufei,

"No, but it is possible that his mission is not complete, or that he has other business to attend, one should never underestimate a teammate Wufei, Heero might just be working, or on his way back." Said Trowa, breaking the tension of the room, "Neither should you over estimate the abilities of a single soldier against large numbers, as disorganized as they are, OZ can still do damage." Wufei answered coldly, looking at Trowa as if he was nothing but a child, meddling in business over his head. "His mission was not to kill them in combat, but to destroy the base and as much of the soldiers as possible, there is no point in thinking that Heero would disregard orders." Said Trowa, equally cold eyes staring back. As Wufei was not about to argue with some weakling, Catherine quickly got up and put down breakfast on the table, drawing both boys attention away from each other. The tension eased a bit and the girls continued their conversation, while Wufei, apparently not hungry, sat and stared at his food, not paying attention to Trowa, who was quietly talking to Quatre and Duo. After breakfast, Relena finally changed out of her pajamas and walked outside, saying she'd be back in two hours, because she needed to think.

Fresh air, I can't stand it anymore, even breakfast was horrible, Ifelt like killing both Trowa and Wufei if they didn't shut up! This is really controlling me, what am I thinking; just an argument and I go crazy, I need to relax, both Wufei and Trowa are my friends right, just 'cause I don't really know them doesn't mean I can think these things about them, what kind of a friend am I? But they were arguing over something stupid and pointless, whether Heero is wounded and can't report back, or not finished with his mission, we still need to find him. Great, now I get involved, this is worse then 24/7 of stupid peace conferences, they might be useful, but they're still boring this is much worse, and it's getting on everyone's nerves, Trowa always seemed so calm, and now he totally blew up on Wufei, wow, it must be really getting to him too, but then Wufei gets to everyone, some times he's just plain annoying and I really want to slap him, oh well, he probably won't even feel it if I did…walking down the path leading away from the small house, Relena looked happily to the sky, whispering something to the gentle breeze going through the trees, she walkedon and soon disappeared out of sight, forgetting about breakfast and her troubles, she walked on. Not noticing a familiar voice shouting her name…

AN: Ok, a bit pointless? I think so, but now you know what's going on you'll see a bit more of an explanation later, Wu-man got attitude! And so did Trowa, OOC? Yes or no, you tell me, can Trowa even do that? Oh well, I'll see the reviews, and there will be reviews, right? *Crosses fingers* ok, I'm not trying to make Wu-man the bad guy, he's just worried and doesn't know how to show it without looking weak, this is a 1/R, but that might change, all couples straight, sorry, no 3/4 or 2/1, and Wufei and Sally are a very small couple, its mostly HY and RP and maybe HS and DM, TB and CB are brother and sister, no romance there, Milli and the older characters don't really show up except Sally, maybe in the end, but not so far, it's too much people, just the five pilots and girls is enough, if someone really wants one of the older ones in there then I'll consider, but other wise they'll be in only at the end. other stuff…ok, soon it'll be one chapter on Heero and one on the others, in order, but for now it's what I think of sooner, this will be a pretty long fic, maybe about ten chpts. I'm still thinking of the ending, so if you have suggestions, or a couple you really want, or anything, send me a message at [GW_girl17@hotmail.com][1], or drop a review! But I need all suggestions due next chapter, or I'll do whatever I come up with. This is a change for me, I haven't done a "happy" fic yet, I have some drafts but I'll never post 'em and this is a nervous stage for me, I hope this gave you some info, if it didn't, well, write it down, I need to know, I could take this chapter off and change it…

   [1]: mailto:GW_girl17@hotmail.com



	5. the cost of the mission

A/N: Ok, back to the regular gloomy thoughts of Heero, in the middle of the ruined city, this time, we find out exactly how the city got to it's not-so-perfect state. Sorry 'bout last chapter, hope it wasn't too bad…oh well! Enjoy this one! -LW

"Ohhh…" saw all that was heard from the deserted city, ruined buildings shining in the starlight, as the moans progressed, a shadow seemed to move, nothing out of the ordinary to the unprepared gaze, or to the wondering eyes of the bystander. But a shadow moved, and as the muscles flexed, the shadow rubbed his head and sat up, being careful not to make more noise then needed. _What? Where am I? Is this is another dream? Or am I in hell…no…this is real, I thought I was dead, but that would be too easy, nothing's ever easy…life's not easy._

Sitting up, Heero rubbed his head, now sore from lying on cement for the night, he moaned again, flexing his sore body, but after the first few minutes, the emotionless mask was on and the perfect soldier back in control. Standing up, he looked around, only to find the deserted city, now under the starlight, the ruins shimmering in the distance.

It was a dream? The girl? Just a figure of my imagination? The whole thing seemed so real, did I just imagine Clair? And my past? Or was it some forgotten memory the zero system pushed to the back of my head…I wish I could know, but right now, I have no memory of that chamber, or that person…I'm alone again…

As he pondered these things, Heero started walking, heading towards some goal he could not understand, the lone soldier walked under the stars, once in a while staring up, only to find unknown constellations.

# Now I'm truly alone…

Still walking, he looked up, to see the buildings in the distance, or what was left of them, then he remembered…he remembered the events of a morning a few days ago, he also remembered the object of his mission, no longer was he confused by the sudden turn of events, nor was the reason of all these ruins hidden from him, the reason was…_me, I caused all of this, I should have expected this, never underestimate my opponent, because the consequences are always death…my first lesson from Dr. J…_

*Flashback*

Heero stood in front of the building; it's long shadow stretching out to the right. Looking up, he made sure there was no one who had seen him, then slowly walked away, and quickening his pace, he was soon lost in the crowd of people walking along the streets, non of who were prepared to the explosion which followed as soon as a certain youth was out of sight. 

As that certain youth stood, now on top of a building, he looked over the smoke with satisfaction, and smirked to no one in particular, then turned around and jumped, soon disappearing in the commotion going on in the streets below. 

8:00 PM, it took them three hours to locate him, he would have laughed, but couldn't afford the sound which would certainly give away his exact location. As he sat in his hiding place, once in a while looking out to see if the soldiers were getting too close, Heero signed, making sure no one heard him, he drifted off into some strategic calculations, which soon changed into thoughts of what exactly had gone wrong on this mission, and what he was going to do about it.

_I should have looked harder, there were bound to be more then one base, OZ might be leaderless, but they're still a threat, I nearly failed my mission, who knows how many soldiers are looking for me now, they might even have mobile suits, and I won't be able to get to Wing Zero. I need to find out more, I need to get to Wing zero, I hardly have enough grenades to protect myself, not to talk about blowing up bases, shouldn't have wasted all the explosives…_

Just then, the young soldier heard a man shout out to his comrades, "There's no one here! We need to search the city, give a call to the Leo troupes and tell all of them to seek out that spy and destroy him!" Heero sat up at the mention of Leo troupes, sneaking a glace at the halls of his apartment building, he made sure all the OZ soldiers were gone before carefully sneaking outside, and hiding behind a cement block and sitting down to think of his next plan of action, 

_ _

_Leo Troupes, and more then one, which means at least a few dozen mobile suits all bent on finding me, I need to get out of here and towards the forests on the outskirts of this city, I need to find Wing Zero before they do, I'm sure they'll find it sooner or later, and then I'll be defeated…_carefully getting up, Heero slowly walked away, trying not to attract attention to himself as he headed away from his apartment and the downtown area of the town, which only a few months ago had become OZ's last base.

After about an hour of creeping around the now very busy city, Heero was getting restless and edgy, the OZ soldiers weren't excellent when it came to finding people, but they still did their jobs, and, right now, their job was to fund and destroy all spies, namely, Heero. Since the people where ordered to evacuate the city under the false pretence of a military drill, Heero had had much worse a time in blending with the now almost gone crowd, instead, he had used the sourer system for a while, until it too, was frisked by OZ in an attempt to find him. At this moment, the youth was sneaking around a building in an attempt to steer clear of the Leos trampling in the street across from him.

Even though it was painfully slow and painful, Heero had to admit he was making progress, he was no longer surrounded by the large stores and expensive buildings of the down town area, but instead he crept by small flats with large gardens and bird baths in the front lawns, another hour and he would be at the out skirts where the forests would make a perfect hiding place, then, the only thing left to do would be to get to Wing Zero and send those Leos to hell… a little more, just a little…

Heero sat down, finally, it had taken every skill he had to avoid being caught, but he had made it, the way to another mission completed was waiting for him just beyond the next block, of course parole was doubled here on the outskirts, but it wouldn't be a problem for the perfect soldier to destroy a few mobile suits with his dwindling supply of grenades. Heero carefully stuck his head from inside the building he was hiding in, making sure there was no one in sight, he slowly crawled out and began warily moving towards his destination, making sure to stay in the shadows and out of sight as he walked.

After about fifteen minutes of hiding out and moving slowly, Heero could finally see the large arks and forests of the outskirts. Moving faster, he looked around before breaking out into a hasty run across the small area between the houses and the outskirts, which was uncovered and unprotected from a stranger's gaze. Suddenly, Heero was aware of shouts and the distant 'stump stump' of mobile suits, he had been spotted.

Giving a quick look back while running, he could see the soldiers running behind him, trying to catch up. Behind the stream of soldiers Heero could just make out the heads of Leos protruding from the forest of buildings, he ran harder, and reaching into his coat's pocket, he drew out a grenade and bit off the safety and frowning it back, immediately hearing the explosion and swearing coming from his pursuers. 

Running harder, he finally reached the woods, and took a few turns and twists to confuse the OZ soldiers, then, he drew out a compass and looked at it, quickly figuring out where he hid his Gundam, Heero half walked half ran on and soon reached the spot. 

Wing Zero was hidden by some shrubbery, and lying on the ground, as to not to look too suspicious, Heero quickly ran up to his mecha and climbed it, pressing the password and watching at the coc pit door opened, then jumping in and shutting it behind him. 

Heero wasted no time in starting up the enormous gundam and was soon half way to the Leo troupes, already holding his beam saber in hand…

*End flashback*

Heero signed, he could remember everything only too clearly now, the hundreds of Leos surrounding him, how he was defeated in battle, then…how he was dragged away, his gundam pushed on a truck and driven back to one of the bases,

_At least I didn't fail the mission, it cost me my gundam, but it's 'mission complete…'_

But instead of giving him sour comfort, the thought only angered him, he had lost his only means of protection in that battle, Wing Zero had self destructed after Heero had run off like a coward, pressing the little red button from a distance…_I'm afraid of death, that's how I failed, I was too afraid to self-destruct while still in the coc pit, that's what I should have done, ended my mission…_he signed and continued walking, the night was wearing thin and Heero could see more clearly now, he guessed that the sun was due to rise soon, and the day would follow, sitting down, Heero decided to wait until the sunrise and forced his body to relax as he sat on the cold ground and looked at the sky, now brilliant with hues of red and gold shimmering at the horizon.

As he sat, Heero wondered as to what he would do to survive, and where he could try to find food, or, more importantly, water, he had not thought of that earlier, nor had he noticed his parched throat, deciding to ignore his body's needs until the situation was clear to him. But now, as the great golden disk that was the sun was seen rising, Heero found himself wondering about the stores and houses, or more specifically, their condition, _hopefully, some of the food and water in one of the houses would be intact, or better yet, a telephone, some form of communication so that I could report my mission was complete, maybe there might even be some survivors, what am I thinking? More people would only make the situation worse, get in my way…I'm much better off alone, I shouldn't be have these thoughts, my only mission right now is to report back fro my next assignment, not find survivors I don't need. I've become the worse soldier possible; I'm letting my emotions and imagination get in the way, I'm forgetting my training…_

To be continued…

A/N: so, was it bad? Good?Not understandable? I'm not getting reviews! I know you people are reading this! I've watched the statistics! Please email me, or review! I really need advise! Oh, ok, I've decided to do it in this order, the next chapter will be another account from Heero, and the plot gets thicker…after that there will be a few chapters focusing of the rest of the guys & gals who are right now about to go on a search for the soldier, this is going to be pretty long, about eight chapters in the least, I need reviews! Come on! Drop a line, even one-liners are welcome! And Questions are really encouraged, don't understand? Write to me at [GW_girl17@hotmail.com][1], and you'll get an answer the next day! Really people, REVIEW!!!!!!!

   [1]: mailto:GW_girl17@hotmail.com



	6. the wonderings

A/N: Ok, back to the regular gloomy thoughts of Heero, in the middle of the ruined city, this time, we find out exactly how the city got to it's not-so-perfect state. Sorry 'bout last chapter, hope it wasn't too bad…oh well! Enjoy this one! -LW

"Ohhh…" saw all that was heard from the deserted city, ruined buildings shining in the starlight, as the moans progressed, a shadow seemed to move, nothing out of the ordinary to the unprepared gaze, or to the wondering eyes of the bystander. But a shadow moved, and as the muscles flexed, the shadow rubbed his head and sat up, being careful not to make more noise then needed. _What? Where am I? Is this is another dream? Or am I in hell…no…this is real, I thought I was dead, but that would be too easy, nothing's ever easy…life's not easy._

Sitting up, Heero rubbed his head, now sore from lying on cement for the night, he moaned again, flexing his sore body, but after the first few minutes, the emotionless mask was on and the perfect soldier back in control. Standing up, he looked around, only to find the deserted city, now under the starlight, the ruins shimmering in the distance.

It was a dream? The girl? Just a figure of my imagination? The whole thing seemed so real, did I just imagine Clair? And my past? Or was it some forgotten memory the zero system pushed to the back of my head…I wish I could know, but right now, I have no memory of that chamber, or that person…I'm alone again…

As he pondered these things, Heero started walking, heading towards some goal he could not understand, the lone soldier walked under the stars, once in a while staring up, only to find unknown constellations.

# Now I'm truly alone…

Still walking, he looked up, to see the buildings in the distance, or what was left of them, then he remembered…he remembered the events of a morning a few days ago, he also remembered the object of his mission, no longer was he confused by the sudden turn of events, nor was the reason of all these ruins hidden from him, the reason was…_me, I caused all of this, I should have expected this, never underestimate my opponent, because the consequences are always death…my first lesson from Dr. J…_

*Flashback*

Heero stood in front of the building; it's long shadow stretching out to the right. Looking up, he made sure there was no one who had seen him, then slowly walked away, and quickening his pace, he was soon lost in the crowd of people walking along the streets, non of who were prepared to the explosion which followed as soon as a certain youth was out of sight. 

As that certain youth stood, now on top of a building, he looked over the smoke with satisfaction, and smirked to no one in particular, then turned around and jumped, soon disappearing in the commotion going on in the streets below. 

8:00 PM, it took them three hours to locate him, he would have laughed, but couldn't afford the sound which would certainly give away his exact location. As he sat in his hiding place, once in a while looking out to see if the soldiers were getting too close, Heero signed, making sure no one heard him, he drifted off into some strategic calculations, which soon changed into thoughts of what exactly had gone wrong on this mission, and what he was going to do about it.

_I should have looked harder, there were bound to be more then one base, OZ might be leaderless, but they're still a threat, I nearly failed my mission, who knows how many soldiers are looking for me now, they might even have mobile suits, and I won't be able to get to Wing Zero. I need to find out more, I need to get to Wing zero, I hardly have enough grenades to protect myself, not to talk about blowing up bases, shouldn't have wasted all the explosives…_

Just then, the young soldier heard a man shout out to his comrades, "There's no one here! We need to search the city, give a call to the Leo troupes and tell all of them to seek out that spy and destroy him!" Heero sat up at the mention of Leo troupes, sneaking a glace at the halls of his apartment building, he made sure all the OZ soldiers were gone before carefully sneaking outside, and hiding behind a cement block and sitting down to think of his next plan of action, 

_ _

_Leo Troupes, and more then one, which means at least a few dozen mobile suits all bent on finding me, I need to get out of here and towards the forests on the outskirts of this city, I need to find Wing Zero before they do, I'm sure they'll find it sooner or later, and then I'll be defeated…_carefully getting up, Heero slowly walked away, trying not to attract attention to himself as he headed away from his apartment and the downtown area of the town, which only a few months ago had become OZ's last base.

After about an hour of creeping around the now very busy city, Heero was getting restless and edgy, the OZ soldiers weren't excellent when it came to finding people, but they still did their jobs, and, right now, their job was to fund and destroy all spies, namely, Heero. Since the people where ordered to evacuate the city under the false pretence of a military drill, Heero had had much worse a time in blending with the now almost gone crowd, instead, he had used the sourer system for a while, until it too, was frisked by OZ in an attempt to find him. At this moment, the youth was sneaking around a building in an attempt to steer clear of the Leos trampling in the street across from him.

Even though it was painfully slow and painful, Heero had to admit he was making progress, he was no longer surrounded by the large stores and expensive buildings of the down town area, but instead he crept by small flats with large gardens and bird baths in the front lawns, another hour and he would be at the out skirts where the forests would make a perfect hiding place, then, the only thing left to do would be to get to Wing Zero and send those Leos to hell… a little more, just a little…

Heero sat down, finally, it had taken every skill he had to avoid being caught, but he had made it, the way to another mission completed was waiting for him just beyond the next block, of course parole was doubled here on the outskirts, but it wouldn't be a problem for the perfect soldier to destroy a few mobile suits with his dwindling supply of grenades. Heero carefully stuck his head from inside the building he was hiding in, making sure there was no one in sight, he slowly crawled out and began warily moving towards his destination, making sure to stay in the shadows and out of sight as he walked.

After about fifteen minutes of hiding out and moving slowly, Heero could finally see the large arks and forests of the outskirts. Moving faster, he looked around before breaking out into a hasty run across the small area between the houses and the outskirts, which was uncovered and unprotected from a stranger's gaze. Suddenly, Heero was aware of shouts and the distant 'stump stump' of mobile suits, he had been spotted.

Giving a quick look back while running, he could see the soldiers running behind him, trying to catch up. Behind the stream of soldiers Heero could just make out the heads of Leos protruding from the forest of buildings, he ran harder, and reaching into his coat's pocket, he drew out a grenade and bit off the safety and frowning it back, immediately hearing the explosion and swearing coming from his pursuers. 

Running harder, he finally reached the woods, and took a few turns and twists to confuse the OZ soldiers, then, he drew out a compass and looked at it, quickly figuring out where he hid his Gundam, Heero half walked half ran on and soon reached the spot. 

Wing Zero was hidden by some shrubbery, and lying on the ground, as to not to look too suspicious, Heero quickly ran up to his mecha and climbed it, pressing the password and watching at the coc pit door opened, then jumping in and shutting it behind him. 

Heero wasted no time in starting up the enormous gundam and was soon half way to the Leo troupes, already holding his beam saber in hand…

*End flashback*

Heero signed, he could remember everything only too clearly now, the hundreds of Leos surrounding him, how he was defeated in battle, then…how he was dragged away, his gundam pushed on a truck and driven back to one of the bases,

_At least I didn't fail the mission, it cost me my gundam, but it's 'mission complete…'_

But instead of giving him sour comfort, the thought only angered him, he had lost his only means of protection in that battle, Wing Zero had self destructed after Heero had run off like a coward, pressing the little red button from a distance…_I'm afraid of death, that's how I failed, I was too afraid to self-destruct while still in the coc pit, that's what I should have done, ended my mission…_he signed and continued walking, the night was wearing thin and Heero could see more clearly now, he guessed that the sun was due to rise soon, and the day would follow, sitting down, Heero decided to wait until the sunrise and forced his body to relax as he sat on the cold ground and looked at the sky, now brilliant with hues of red and gold shimmering at the horizon.

As he sat, Heero wondered as to what he would do to survive, and where he could try to find food, or, more importantly, water, he had not thought of that earlier, nor had he noticed his parched throat, deciding to ignore his body's needs until the situation was clear to him. But now, as the great golden disk that was the sun was seen rising, Heero found himself wondering about the stores and houses, or more specifically, their condition, _hopefully, some of the food and water in one of the houses would be intact, or better yet, a telephone, some form of communication so that I could report my mission was complete, maybe there might even be some survivors, what am I thinking? More people would only make the situation worse, get in my way…I'm much better off alone, I shouldn't be have these thoughts, my only mission right now is to report back fro my next assignment, not find survivors I don't need. I've become the worse soldier possible; I'm letting my emotions and imagination get in the way, I'm forgetting my training…_

To be continued…

A/N: so, was it bad? Good?Not understandable? I'm not getting reviews! I know you people are reading this! I've watched the statistics! Please email me, or review! I really need advise! Oh, ok, I've decided to do it in this order, the next chapter will be another account from Heero, and the plot gets thicker…after that there will be a few chapters focusing of the rest of the guys & gals who are right now about to go on a search for the soldier, this is going to be pretty long, about eight chapters in the least, I need reviews! Come on! Drop a line, even one-liners are welcome! And Questions are really encouraged, don't understand? Write to me at [GW_girl17@hotmail.com][1], and you'll get an answer the next day! Really people, REVIEW!!!!!!!

   [1]: mailto:GW_girl17@hotmail.com



	7. getting caught...

A/N: this is going to be a definite HYxRP, and don't worry, I haven't forgotten the others

A/N: this is going to be a definite HYxRP, and don't worry, I haven't forgotten the others. I'll get to those later.

Anyway, Heero's caught, dragged back, and gets locked up and he doesn't like it. Lots of swearing, but not too much angst. This fic is going to have a few original characters, and those are mine!! DON'T STEAL!! 

But the other characters don't belong to me, DON'T SUE!

**The lone Soldier: part 7**

Heero shook himself awake; he had had too much sleep, if such a thing were possible. His body protested, urging the mind to drift back into peaceful slumber, but the mind argued back, telling itself that there was no time for tiredness, and that he was too close to that base to be allowed off his guard for more then an hour. Heero signed, and stood up, sometimes, he really wished that his body would win the daily battle, but then again, if that happened, he would never get done with his missions…

He walked out of his hiding pace, rubbing at his eyes to erase all signs of sleep, this helped partially, but he still wished he could be somewhere with a bed and maybe a comforter, as well as a phone, just to know that everyone can reach him if something went wrong. Heero looked around, and all thoughts of the soft comforter he would be offered at the Peacecraft mansion, in which he often stayed for a few days at a time. 

The desert of rubble was stretching in front of him, and he suddenly wished he was anywhere but this place. Although his wish, like always, was not acknowledged. 

He began to walk, sleep finally leavening his body, and being replaced by the cold morning air. The base was not far away, he could see the largely undamaged building sticking out from beneath the wreckage, soon Heero was there, once again in front of the brownish gray building, studying it closely, the boarded up windows showed signs of life, and he guessed immediately where the main HQ were located.

The young man walked through the rubble filled street, heading directly for the building, no longer caring about caution, he had gathered enough information to know he would not be shot at on sight, and these self proclaimed soldiers might even help him to get back home.

_Maybe, just maybe, I've been in the shadows too long, I don't care anymore, my last mission just ended with the destruction of the bases, I can finally do whatever I want to, and it wouldn't matter. I'm no longer needed, now others can take over maintaining peace, and I can finally take fate into my hands…_

Heero was very soon standing in front of the base, about to enter, but almost expecting the soldiers who were rushing through the halls at the moment, all hoping to be the ones to capture the last survivor, all hoping to get a reward for their job.

And they came, all caring guns, most of the soldiers were older then he was, some were his age. Heero could clearly spot a few fifteen year olds running behind, one stopped, obviously a commander of some sort, he gave out some orders and immediately a few of the troop ran forward, now shouting about what he was doing here and who he was. Heero didn't answer, he felt dizzy, and assumed that he had some sort of internal injury, his thoughts were at the moment too distracted any way to notice that one of the soldiers was approaching him slowly, commenting about the freely bleeding wound showing through his torn and dirty shirt.

_What are they saying? It doesn't make sense, what?! Talk louder! Don't whisper, I wanna know what's wrong! What do ya want, just shoot me! I'm not even armed, and I won't fight back,_ "what's wrong?" Heero said the last part out loud, his voice a hoarse whisper, his thoughts now concentrated on the reasons for his knees giving out from under him, and the ground, coming_ so close, I gotta stop the ground…got to…know what's wrong…I…_the youth fell over, the dirty street coming into contact with his face, and earning an outcry from the nearest soldier. But the youth didn't seem to notice the voices around him, in fact, he noticed them even less then he noticed the blood spilling from his upper torso, and he certainly didn't notice his broken nose.

***

Heero woke up to find himself in bed, and he could immediately feel a blanket on top of his naked chest, and the fact that the only thing he -was- wearing were his boxers, which, he also noted, where rather harsh and ripped.

As he slowly sat up, his head swum, the room out of focus, and he could barely make out the slow ticking of a clock, apparently somewhere nearby.

_Where am I? Was it a dream? I feel just as bruised as if it was real, but it doesn't seem possible…I'm home…or somewhere where I can feel safe, this is…this is Relena's apartment, isn't it? The one she paid rent just to get away from the palace…the clock was on a small bedside table…I loved that ticking…the time I collapsed after a mission and she took me home, and she…she took care of me. I'm back here, aren't I? I'm glad to be home, I'll have to tell Trowa, he'll like to hear that, I bet he'll smile too, I'm glad to be home, and it's not even my home at all but I'm just as glad, Trowa will be happy, he said to tell him where I feel most at home, I guess, I guess I found the place…I'm glad I'm home, I'll get to Trowa after I thank Relena, and ask what happened. Yeah, I'll thank her, she's saved me more then once now…after my last failed mission…I'll thank her this time. I'll thank her! I will!_

Heero sat up completely, and tried to clear the fog from his mind and vision, determined to seek out and thank the girl who owned the small apartment, stationed in the busy downtown area, a block from the office at which the young vice foreign minister spent most of her time.

But as he sat up and finally looked around, Heero had to choke back a cry. He hadn't expected this…this…dump.

The room's walls were pealing off, paint falling off to reveille gray concrete, Heero was shocked, and his immediate impression was that a hurricane came around, and that Relena was going to fix the place up on the next Saturday. But then he noticed that the furniture was different, cold steel replacing the loving warm wood, even the bedside table and clock he knew so well were different, but cold, metal, and looking like they were stolen from prison.

_No…no! I was home!!!! I want to go home! This…what happened? Where's Relena! What happened? I was home…I was…I was safe…that clock was there…damn! I'm still as lost as ever. I never found home! I just imagined things again, I'm not safe at all, and Relena isn't here, and Trowa won't know that I found a place to call home. Damn it, DAMN IT!!_

As soon as the initial rage and disappointment of being robed of his home was over, Heero's mind once more blacked out all emotion to try and figure out where he was.

The clock was ticking by, and the soldier was beginning to become interested in his surroundings, and the people who had dragged him here. The room seemed more reasonable to him now that he no longer tried to compare it to Relena's comfortable apartment, the closet in the corner was a large one, enough to accommodate every possession of Heero's as well as Duo's, Trowa's and Wufei's comfortably. Heero doubted about Quatre's many possessions, but still, it was larger then he'd ever need…

There was a desk in the room; cold steel legs were glistening in the sunlight pouring in from a bared window. There was also a small couch in the room, the mattress was ripped and torn, but it still looked better then the one in Heero's last apartment. 

_Wait! I'm thinking of living here? NO!! I won't surrender, I'll get back home, I want to go home!! I don't want to be lost anymore…I want to be found and safe…I want to be home._

Heero was surprised and scared by his thoughts, his head was still sore, his arm had been bandaged and the white material was slightly reddish, showing it was bloody.

Heero looked himself over for the first time in a few days, his boxers were torn, showing too much bruised and bloody skin, there were a few hastily put up bandages on his legs, and one of his socks (which no one bothered to remove) was torn.

He was surprised that his body's condition didn't cause him trouble before this, but was still happy for it, and comforted by the fact that he was still as pain-proof as ever, but now the pain was coming back fully, and he felt dizzy once again.

He sat comfortably on the bed, and waited, soon, whoever brought him here would show up, no need to hurry and act, they would come…

Heero waited, and waited, but no one showed up, he was abandoned, and if the youth knew that at the time not a single soul in the base was thinking about him, he would only be more worried.

***

Almost a day had passed and still no one came, the youth was worried, his shoulder ached from banging on the door, but no one had seemed to notice the noise he produced.

Heero was annoyed, starved and his arm was burning from his constant attempts to draw attention to himself.

_What's up with me? I'm "impatient", that's impossible. I've waited years for operation meteor without complaint, YEARS!! I was ready for it at age five!! And now my emotions get a kick, why? *g* 'cause I wanna see the faces of these bastards that locked me up in here!! DAMN! Why can't my feelings start at the right time? What's wrong with me?! For crap's sake, it's been ONE FREAKIN' DAY! And my emotions start acting up! DAMN!!!_

Heero's mind was as annoyed, hungry, and impatient as possible, so he banged harder and swore in Japanese, shouting out words he had thought forgotten.

But still, the door was locked, and his arm was soon so sore that he was forced to stop his attack at the cold, uncompromising metal.

He was still sitting there at noon, and was banging on the door by nightfall, having to stop from the pain. Which, again, erupted in his left arm. Heero was now beyond impatient. 

***

Cody was walking down the hall when he first heard the noise. The loud banging was unfamiliar and disturbing in the supposedly empty hall. He looked around, checking that there was no crazy survivor at the windows, through which golden pools of sunlight were pouring into the stone, empty, and under sized hall.

Cody Dickens was a twenty-one your old soldier. Who had served in the Canadian National Guard before joining the team, mostly known as The Oz Hater's Club. (A Name used as a joke about the group of runaway soldiers who decided to hang around the fighting business for a little while longer, just for the fun of it.) 

Cody was well known as a traitor and a scandal, and his gray blue eyes were recognized as "steel colored" by the other soldiers. His extremely dark hair came from hanging in the sun way too long, and his skin was well bronzed for the very same reason. 

Being short for his age, as well as his general appearances, made his seem a good-natured seventeen year old. This was a weapon he had used many times to get the trust of his fellow soldiers.

After making sure that there was no one in sight, he turned on his heel and headed back to the main office, asking the first officer in sight (which happened to be Ellenor) what the noise was all about.

"You heard it, finally! It's this kid we found out there; he was pretty banged up, so Micelle asked Josh to treat him. Now they've got him locked up, and he decided that he didn't like it. Bastard's trying to nock the door down. But the commander won't see him yet, and secretary isn't ready to question him, we've been told to ignore the kid."

"Kid? What is this? An orphanage? Why the fuck are we gonna question a kid for?" Cody was really pissed at both the secretary and commander for this obvious waist of time.

"He's about fifteen, I'd say, but as strong as a brick wall, he's been knocking at the door for the last day or so, they think he might be an Ozzy out of uniform. So they want some info. Don't blame me, if I could, I'd set the kid free, he must be scared shitless in there."

Ellenor replied, and then began a walk down the hall to her small workstation, where she was responsible for the weapons supplies.

Cody, who had no immediate duty, followed suit, keeping behind his taller friend.

"So? He's sixteen… and an Ozzy? They wouldn't take someone that young! What the fuck? Don't believe office locked him up…"

"I know, but hey! It's not a choice for us! Look Cod, he'll be questioned, then released once they find out he's a civilian, just follow orders and ignore the noise, he'll stop soon." 

Cody tried to protest, but the girl walked into the first door on the right, and closed it in his face, stopping his reply from reaching her.

"God-damn it, they're catching frickin' kids now…bastards…" he muttered, then turned around and strode to his own half destroyed office, but then changed his mind half the way there, and turned instead to see what the medics were doing.

***

Next chapter: Heero finds a way out, or more like the way out finds him. A death, but not graphic or very angsty and there's more death to come, so get used to it! '

Thanks for all the reviews!


	8. and escaping back into prison

A/N: ok, a death in this chapter, and a few swear words, be AWARE

A/N: ok, a death in this chapter, and a few swear words, be AWARE! Anyway, Heero decides on a course of action, and changes places with a certain soldier, but will his roll playing last long enough to get him back home?

**The Lone Soldier Part 8**

Heero was tired, very…very tired, after the seemingly endless banging, his arm was almost numb. His head swam, and he had collapsed on the bed for the third time after trying to continue the noise making. 

And still, no one came. Heero had almost given up after the fourth hour in a row, but continued. Now, after ten hours of banging, (including short breaks to catch one's breath) he knew it was just too much.

So the perfect soldier was finally beaten down. His body lying limply on the bed, breath raged, eyes searching the ceiling for an invisible escape route, which his bored imagination had come up with a few hours ago.

Heero's mind was at an almost complete stop, he was no longer thinking about anything in particular, and the most that went through his tired mind were the rare happy memories. Which seemed to be from a past life, even though most were rather from the previous year.

As he was finally drifting out of boredom influenced sleep, Heero's ears faintly picked up a small noise of metal scratching metal, and as he lazily looked up, the soldier's eyes snapped open and focused on the unfamiliar face in the doorway. 

***

Cody had done it! He'd stole the keys, released the prisoner, and he felt damn good about it all! The boy was about sixteen, maybe seventeen, looked like he'd been though hell, and almost killed Cod before he explained about the deal.

"I'll get you out of here, but you gotta tell me who you are, and take me with you, 'Kay?"

He said, the deal sounded mighty good to him, he'd get out of this makeshift army, and the kid would get freedom. If he turned out to be an Ozzy…well, Cody didn't care anymore.

_Frickin' morons think one Ozzy will do a lot of trouble, my ass! One sixteen year old is going to be a hell lot of trouble, yeah…I'm terrified! NOT!! Bet the boss is just worried about what happens when we're done OZ hunting…hehehe…_

Cody chuckled out loud, causing a reaction from the boy. But he quickly stopped, and began leading the kid through the halls, heading casually to the main exit.

"Hey Cod! What are you doing out here? You're supposed to be helping out in the office."Said the soldier at the exit, giving Cody a questioning look.

"Me and Billy here are going out, we've been sent to look of some basic medical supplies. I've got permission from the boss, don't worry."

Answered Cody, jabbing his finger towards Billy while talking.

"Ok…I guess, well, good luck searching that dump! Makes me happy to be on guard duty! Bye Cod, Billy!" exclaimed the young woman, shifting across the wall to let them pass outside. Smiling until her attention shifted back to her fellow guards, who were playing cards.

***

Heero was relieved as the guard let him pass without another glance. He had been prepared to slice her throat at the slightest sign of suspicion, but he was feeling proud of his accomplishment now that the test was over. Even though outside, his face remained expressionless, on the inside, Heero was as close to cheering as he'd ever been, the sole thought of being out of the prison was enough to cause his a feeling he assumed was happiness, but being out of the building was a dream come true.

To guess that all that his freedom cost was a half-assed deal with a traitor soldier was something he would never have thought of, not to speak of relying on, but, never the less he was free all due to Cody, and the lousy security.

"Where do we go?" came the question from his older companion, or at least Heero guessed he was older. He had calculated that Cody would turn twenty pretty soon, old enough for a "normal" soldier.

Heero spent a few minutes thinking his position over, then answered,

"I'm going home, how 'bout you?" he asked, smirking at the confused look on the man's face.

"The deal was that I got you out and you took me with you, so…where do we go?"

"I go home, you…I guess you go to hell."

"Wha…?" was all that Cody got out before he was shot in the head with his own gun, the irony never crossing his killer's mind.

"Sorry."

The soldier took the body, not overly carefully dragging it to the corner. When he was out of sight, he discarded his own cloths, and preceded to don the uniform his savior had worn, making sure to pull the cap over his eyes, making him hard to recognize.

***

"I'm back, didn't find any supplies, sorry." Said Cody, coming into the building, and staring at the female security guard. Expecting an answer.

"Ok, what happened to the other guy, Cod?" she asked, her face showing she didn't really care.

"He's still searching his section of the city, a slow one. He'll come back later." Answered Cody, showing he didn't care either.

"Ok, come on in, Anderson wanted you to see about some escaped prisoner, seems he killed a guard and ran off, but no one saw him leave, they need an investigator, and you've been picked for the job." She said. Bright blue eyes laughing, showing the young man what she thought of the whole business.

"Bet he broke some window and sneaked out. Damn idiots wasting my time…" muttered Cody, swearing some more under his breath.

"'K, well, see ya later."

"You too, Jill."

A/N: ok, so if it's not clear enough, it'll be explained again in the next chapter, and yes, the person in the last art is Cody, NOT a typo! Any way, next time…

I'm working on the next part for the other Gundam Team, and they're finally going out to actually find Heero…good luck to them! Like I'm going to let 'em find him…hehehe…

Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me, neither do it's characters. Also, sorry it's so short.


	9. found a clue to your past

***

***

Heero fitted the role of Cody Dickens perfectly; his height and voice were almost the same, even though he had though acting twenty would be a little trouble. Heero soon found that Cody was more of a seventeen year old then himself, and with a little more useless chatter and swearing, he did the job well enough.

The opportunity of being let out and then being allowed to lead this soldier anywhere he chose was almost too good, and Heero had though of this as a trap, before throwing his suspicions to hell and agreeing to the stupid plan.

Heero had not felt any remorse towards the soldier, he had, however, felt a small tug on his heart. Which surprised Heero, he had never thought that death would bother him; after all, he never considered it a bad experience. But after years of thinking of his death day-Heero realized- death seemed quiet useless and unneeded to the soldier who had attempted suicide a few times without hesitation.

_Maybe that soldier didn't want to die…maybe I don't want to die…do I? I've always expected to die, but I haven't. Do I want to? If not, why fight for freedom instead of cutting my own throat? I've changed…I don't want to die anymore…strange…_

Heero pondered this while walking down the hall, watching the doors for # 549 to show up on the wooden panels.

Soon he saw it. He guessed that Anderson would be waiting for him inside, so the soldier opened the door and stepped in, eyeing the small office carefully.

"Forgot to knock?"

"Yeah, so, what do ya want?"

"Find the prisoner. Fifteen to seventeen, brown hair, blue eyes, green top and black pants. He was in this small room we used as a prison down the hall." Said a tall man in his mid-thirties, who, Heero assumed, was Anderson.

The corbat black eyes shifted, as he looked Heero over, as if measuring him to see if he was good enough for the job.

After a short silence, Anderson looked up- apparently satisfied- and gestured towards a few pieces of paper on a desk nearby, explaining as he shifted through them.

"These are all the plans we have of the building, Cod, I want you to use them to check for this prisoner, ask for help from anyone you want. But I want a report; this might have been the pilot of the Gundam. And if he is, we need him."

Anderson stopped and waited for a response, looking Heero straight in the eyes.

"Ok, I'll do the job, I'm starting right now, sir." Answered Heero, looking back at Anderson.

"Sir? What's this crap Cod? Well… never mind, just find this son-of-a-bitch."

"I will."

"Dismissed." Replied Anderson, his corbat eyes frowning while he handed Heero the maps.

The door was shut behind the soldier, and he proceeded down the hall, looking over the maps until he found his own room.

***

Cody emerged from his room, looking satisfied as he went off down the stone cold hall.

As he navigated his way around the building, Cody tried not to look at the maps in his hand, but having no other idea of how to get to the prison cell, he was forced to glace at the maps, if only occasionally.

He walked briskly, not really looking around but in taking everything in sight, and giving of a dangerous aurora that held curious soldiers at bay. All except Ellenor that is.

"Hey, Cod! Where do you think you're going?" she shouted out to him, running to catch up.

"I'm investigating the escaped prisoner case, Ellenor." Answered Cody, once again thanking for the nametags worn by all the base's inhabitants.

"Ok, so where are you heading?"

"To the prison chamber." Cody answered, trying to get his voice a little deeper without making his struggles obvious.

"Wow, what's eating at you Cod? You sound like you want to kill or somethin'." Said Ellenor, unconsciously guessing Cody's exact wishes.

"Just annoyed about this mother-fuckin' job they got me on. It's like trying to find the edge of a circle!" Cody exclaimed, looking over at Ellenor for the first time.

"Yeah, I heard, any leads so far?" She asked, sounding sympathetic but still managing to smirk.

"Bastard somehow got out, killed the guard, then pulled a fast one. Guy's lucky, the guards were in-between shifts and nobody noticed him gone for about ten minutes."

"So…I guess you've got one mess to untangle, eh?"

"No shit!"

***

Annoyance was out of Heero's league, he was horribly bored, trying make up a reason for his own escape without making it obvious that he had lied, this was a drag, and the "troop" was not due to move until more repairs were made to their equipment. Heero was stuck doing a useless job or the next few weeks, and he was seriously doubting whether it was a good idea to waist his time on this at all.

Of course, if he wanted to survive, he had to pretend to be doing something useful and explain his escape, the only other option being "run away and hope to find some vehicle before starving to death." Which Heero was _not_ about to do?

He made himself busy looking at the pathetic protection methods that the renegade army was using. Most were simple cameras and censor beams, which he easily intercepted and used to sneak into offices, checking files and records.

The "army" it seemed, was based on a small resistance force that had originally rose to fight against the power gripping OZ, but later shifted it's stance to accommodate the threat from the colonies, sending small forces to work in outer space, mostly spies who infiltrated OZ and White Fang forces and twisting negotiations to include as much profit to Earth as would be allowed. 

The soldiers had been trained at different underground organizations and later escaped to join the main forces or some of the smaller groups. Many of the renegades, Heero noticed, were soldiers trained in his own organization, some names had even seemed familiar to him, and he was sure that he had recognized Ellenor from one of the intelligence workers.

Upon further investigation of his memories, Heero remembered that she had first been a soldier in the 79th main corp. working under a commander Lukens, who had been known for his excellent strategic planning methods, later transferring to the intelligence crew…number 45, Heero guessed.

Many of the other records showed that this army had briefly joined the OZ resistance in China, at the time when, Heero estimated, Wufei would have landed his Gundam on Earth for the first time. 

The main commander on the forces of Earth was a Kenlin Jerom, who was a senior soldier in an underground corporation working as missionaries for the government of Israel, clearing it's borders of opposing nation's troops.

Neither the sponsors nor the core commander of all forces were described, which was no surprise to Heero, since these files were more then vulnerable.

As he searched the files more effectively, Heero stumbled on many more familiar names, as well s a few who he had considered friends, many soldiers of whom he had heard, some of whom he admired, and some who he considered idiotic for leaving their previous occupations.

"Osamu, Helen, Gery…Fanille…Corwine, Erick, Poline…Clair Harlot. 18 years old, 15 years of experience, intelligence crew worker for Professor Kline…lots of good comments…shit… more shit…she's exactly like Clair, working with Kline, right age, right description, right position. Clair.' Heero signed, ripping the page out of the folder and folding it carefully in his pocket, making sure that the door was locked before heading away, un noticed by the other soldiers.


End file.
